Sad Alice.
I felt a bit like Alice on Friday. My parents came down on Thursday to help me put wires on the backs of all my canvasses, and it got so late that they ended up staying the night. On Friday morning they went to the supermarket to buy more bread, cereal and milk, and ended up coming back with an entire grocery load and a bucketful of lecture to boot.
Apparently I’m getting old and it’s time for me to start paying more attention to actual work and stuff. And my dad doesn’t really like my paintings and is worried they won’t sell, and I should start painting the things that he thinks people like to buy, and if I figure out what people like buying, I should paint that same thing over and over. My dad doesn’t really get art.
Also, they’ve never liked Mr Crumpet, and my mum started laying into me about how if he really loved me he’d marry me, how he’s “using me”, “leading me up the garden path”, not helping enough around the house, influencing me for the worst in my decision making (including that “ridiculous vegetarianism”) and so on. All with a good dose of Catholic guilt-tripping diatribe thrown in.
Of course, they weren’t really as mean-spirited as I’ve made them sound just there — they just worry about me and were expressing their concerns, but I felt pretty shithouse after they left. I’m normally very much someone who ignores what everyone else says when it comes to my work — I trust my own judgement enough to know what’s working and what isn’t. But occasionally it’s hard to ignore the pushing and pulling of everyone around you, and you feel somewhat like Alice, trapped inside the White Rabbit’s house with no way of getting out.
Comments
Comment from Sarah
Time February 15, 2007 at 7:26 am
You are not getting old, you are still young and you have plenty of time to figure out exactly the whats, hows, whys and whens of your life!
As for the vegetarianism, tell them that vegetarians spend on average 20% less time in hospital than meat eaters! (or something like that, I read it the other day)
Comment from Squozen
Time February 15, 2007 at 8:17 am
I may not do enough around the house, but I can be there to hug you when your folks make you cry.
Comment from vetti
Time February 15, 2007 at 10:04 am
oh crumpet - what is it about parents? even when you know they are wrong, it can still hurt. chin up girl, you’re doing what’s right for you. most folks don’t have the courage to even try…loving your work, and your determination to succeed on yer own terms. you rock!
squozen - you’re a sweet guy, and doing more around the house will only add to that 
Comment from A
Time February 15, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I’ve noticed a lot how family love to point fingers of blame and criticise the way other family members are living their lives. Forgetting, of course, that the only lives they actually have any say in or control over are their own.
For what it’s worth, I think it’s wonderful you have so much passion for your art and that you convey such a positive voice and mindframe through the blog posts I have read. I think you’d be a wonderful person to have as a friend in real life. Surely that is just as important and praise worthy, if not more so, than having some 9 to 5 job and having a spotless bathroom?
Comment from alex
Time February 15, 2007 at 2:15 am
My heart goes out to you, deary. Keep on keepin’ on, chin high, and all that.